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Loving Your Wife Like...

By: David Lyda (From: Volume 1 - Issue 1)

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

Your entire marriage can be based on this verse alone. To even begin comparing the depth of Christ’s love to the love for our wife is a monumental task, but that is the standard we’ve been called to. The church spoken of is simply the Christian body as a whole. In what way does our Lord love us? The most obvious example of His love can be seen in His shed blood.

Sacrificial Love

Jesus loves us with a sacrificial love. He was willing to leave the privileges of Heaven, suffer as a man, and die for our sins. He gave it all, and He did not withhold anything in that love for us. What selfish things can you see in your relationship? Can you suffer to turn off the TV to spend time with your wife? Can you suffer to pick up the kids, because your wife is overwhelmed? Are you willing to give your life for your wife?! You should be. Christ loved the church enough to die for it. Thankfully, most of us will not have to literally give up our lives to love our spouse, but we will have to give up our selfish desires. You will have to sacrifice things in order to be the husband that your wife deserves.

Humble Love

Another characteristic of Jesus’ love is that of a humble heart. The servant is truly not greater than the master, but as “masters” of our wife, we must be willing to humble ourselves and have the servant’s heart that Jesus displayed. Our Master, the Creator of all, was willing to wash the feet of his disciples as a service to them (John 13:1-20). Peter initially thought it ridiculous that our Lord was willing to humble himself to the lowly task of feet washing. This act was reserved for the servants, and peers rarely would even think of doing such a thing. This wasn’t merely a peer, but our Master! This symbolic cleansing also showed the selfless love that Jesus commanded. We are not to be prideful or boastful in our dealings with our wife. You would probably be hard pressed to find humbleness in those husbands that order their wives around and try to dominate them. That type of treatment is most definitely not Biblical. How do you treat your wife? When is the last time that you humbled yourself to do the dishes? When is the last time that you humbled yourself to serve your wife?

Protecting Love

Jesus is the Good Shepherd, and He will protect us (John 10:11-16). This protecting love must be how we watch over our wife. Again the sacrificial love of God is shown in the fact that the Good Shepherd will lay down His life for His sheep. Situations will come that threaten to overtake our spouse or our marriage, but these wolves must be fought to protect what is ours. We are not the hireling that watches the sheep and flees when danger arises because they truly don’t care about the sheep. We must stand watch and protect our wife. Does your wife feel secure under your care? Are you protecting her from physical, mental, and spiritual harm? God continually protects the church with His sovereign hand.

Forgiving Love

If we are members of the church, we have been forgiven of all our sins. It’s sad that our world has come to the point where forgiveness is rarely part of our vocabulary, and you can see the lack of it in all the divorce cases. Jesus loved us enough to forgive all our trespasses against Him, and we have to be willing to forgive our spouse. It can be difficult, but it will be most assuredly impossible without God. We all have our shortcomings, and we have to acknowledge those. God can bring our relationship through anything if we allow Him to take control. Can you forgive with the love of Jesus?

Priority Love

Our love for our wife should not be our first love. This is one aspect of Jesus’ love for the church that can often be overlooked. Christ loves the Father first and foremost. The church will always be second to that love. This does not diminish any part of the love for our spouse, but it brings it to an even deeper level. A relationship has to be made of three with God at the top. If God’s love and commandments dominate our life, we are poised for success. Jesus put priority on communing with God through prayer (Matthew 14:22-23), and He never served any desire other than God’s desire. Do you love God before your wife? Do you desire what God has for your life and marriage? You must never fail God to serve your wife. In doing so, you would not be showing true love for your spouse. God only wants the best for your bond as husband and wife, and you will only obtain it by serving Him. God is love (1 John 4:7-11).

The Head of the Church

One verse that is often abused and taken out of context is Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” As husbands, we have a huge responsibility in being the head of our household. That submission is a command from God and not a command of the husband either. To think that we can boss our wives around is unfounded. Verse 23-24 goes on to say “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.” As the church, we are subject to God’s love. Wives are to be subject to our love that is modeled after Christ. His commands are out of love, His forgiveness is out of love, and His direction is out of love. As head of our household, we have to put God first. We have to lead our family down the path of righteousness. We are to be the example and love our wives like Christ loved the church.

From: Volume 1 - Issue 1


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